The Oscars: And No, NPH Did Not Get Best Dressed in his Tighty Whities

I would be remiss not to hammer you with endless Instagram photos and a pattering of pointless Joan Rivers' worthy fashion patrolling tonight. The Oscars' Red Carpet tap dance simply completes me as there is SO much to discuss, friends. A quandary of "hell no" moments, but at least a handful or two of "hell yes." Shall we begin? 

Let's start with my personal favorite, Marion Cotillard, in none other than Dior Haute Couture. This white polka dot sleeveless dress hints of old Hollywood tailoring. It fits her figure well, but doesn't hug her body (and I LOVE that). BUT, more importantly, did you see the back? 

You're welcome, okkkk? How fierce and how unique could one dress be? Sexy doesn't have to mean Herve Leger, okay? Intended simplicity with a bit of surprise is everything on this lovely creature. Hardly any makeup, an elegant diamond drop earring and a face like that? Well, that's called perfection. Note it.

Here we have the always stunning Emma Stone in one of my favorite looks on her ever. Monochromatic metallic magnificence by Elie Saab. Fits her perfectly, highlights her perfect red hair and makes me weep. That's all. 

Cue Pachelbel's Canon because here comes our ironic virgin fashion bride, Anna Wintour. Give me a second, while I wipe my tear... Okay, I'm back. I sort of love this dress and fur capelet. And by sort of, I mean, I am obsessed. I mean, she's not wearing her sunglasses - even if she clutched them in her hand like a smoker waiting for her next drag. She has a bit of a glow and her smile seems genuine. This has turned into a moment, people. It certainly helps that Bee Shaffer serves as the most beautiful sidekick ever; just divine in a dark, floral print and smoky eye. Brava, ladies, but like I needed to tell YOU that.

I love me some Meryl Streep. She is truly one of my all time favorite actresses. She doesn't always get it right on the red carpet, though. I mean, let's be honest, like hardly ever. BUT tonight, she nailed it. Wearing an absolutely perfect Lanvin skirt and jacket, styled with a sophisticated hand, Meryl looks divine. This, ladies, is how you dress when you're sexagenarian status. Okay?

Naomi Watts in Armani Prive,` shows some serious back in this number and we love it. The metallic paneling of this dress seems almost reptilian. I love her dark lip and the goth-ish vibe she's owning. Rad. Just rad.

Tegan and Sara were Canadian, androgynous superstars tonight. Love, love, love everything about their looks and their wardrobe voracity. Tegan in The Kooples and Barbara Bui and Sara in Public School and Cole Haan. Out of the box and fierce. Their Oscar performance was kind of AWESOME, too. Sorry, I can't help it.

Now, for the misses. The, I can't help but be snarky moments… 

I mean… Diane Warren. I'm so sorry, but just no. When the 80s call and you just wanna hang up… yeah, this is that moment. That moment of sheer and utter horror. Not sure who she's wearing, but do you really care?

Solange. Solange. Solange. You look like Muno from Yo Gabba Gabba. I'm ashamed I know who that is, but the resemblance is uncanny. This is so not okay. Fire your stylist immediately. Please, we all need you to do this.

If ever there was a true GOOP moment, it was now. I know most of the world finds her incredibly irritating (and she is), but her fashion is usually on point. Don't argue with me, I'm right. Tonight, however, this dress gets a big fat "F." The cut is fine. I don't even mind the one shoulder thing… but the flower is atrocious and the color? Just ugh.

Nikki K., this color is so bad on you. Why? Why would you let them convince you that it brings out your eyes? Because it does not. The iridescence of this Rainbow Bright number hurts me in my heart - and that's saying a lot, ok? I forgive you, though, because I know you usually kill it. Just don't do this again. Like ever.

And there you have it. We're tapped out. Tell us what you loved and loathed. Give us some insight because we're just a bunch of a**holes, trying to be funny. 


Grammy Get Ups, Get Down

So, in case you missed it, tonight was the Grammy Awards. Yeah, I wasn't that excited either…

BUT we'd be remiss not to comment on some of the fashion spectacles of the night. You can go ahead and interpret our dissection however you see fit just promise not to take it too seriously because, well, we're not.

I'll segue in by stating the obvious, the Grammy's are not about chic, high fashion moments, they're about theatrical, over the top, in your face fashion demonstrations. Blunders or not, the looks tonight certainly are worth a convo or two. SO, here goes nothing...

T Swizzle was straight stunnin' in an Elie Saab blue-ish, aqua gown paired with fuchsia Giuseppe Zanotti heels. The curtain skirt that revealed a sexy and yet age-appropriate mini hemline kind of was everything. Nevermind her adorable side swoop, bob haircut. I mean...

Taylor Swift Elie Saab.jpg

Next up, the amazing RiRi. This Giambattista Valli Couture pink, strapless and metallic embellished gown makes my jaw drop and in a good way. Sure, she looked a bit like a baby flamingo on steroids or a really chic wedding cake topper, but let's not forget the pomp and circumstance that is pretty much a prerequisite for dressing at this show. When you consider how bad ass Rhianna is, you kind of forgive the volume of this skirt and embrace it for being bold and in your face and, let's be honest, if you look like Rhianna, who cares? I spotted her front row at the Awards (from my T.V.) and let's just say she took up two seats. Bravo.

Okay, okay, I can't take it. I mean, Ciara, I honestly don't even know what you sing, but this look is fierce. Alexandre Vauthier Couture really made magic happen with this insane avian-inspired, one shoulder number. I can't even. Just pure love.

Hello, Haim Sisters. So, I see you've been hanging with my girl Taylor Swift lately and that makes me all levels of jealy. You were so chic and on point tonight. Gossip girl meets Milla Jovovich. J'adore. Este (far left) in Chloe, Danielle in white Stella McCartney tuxedo and Alana in a cutout black Stella McCartney jumpsuit. Everything. Just everything. Let's be BFF's.

Finally, I have to holla back at my girl, Gwen Stefani. In true Gwen form, she's modern and super structured. Just the way I like her. This Atelier Versace bustier and slouch pant combined with her voluminous updo and muted lip is beyond. And p.s. your performance with Adam Levine was chill inducing. That's all. 


That's all we have room for this year, peeps. Leave us a comment or two. We'd love to know your thoughts. Let's agree or disagree because that's what this shiz is all about. 

xo MGK